April Fool's Day

I woke up today, not thinking much of the fact that it was April Fool's Day. After all, we are in Yemen. I went to school as normal and our first lesson was about holidays and celebrations in our countries so I tried to talk in Arabic about Bonfire Night, Pancake Day, and Bank holidays, since the Americans in the class had already explained about Christmas and Easter. If our teacher had known about April Fool's Day, maybe she would have had her doubts about my stories about a special day for pancakes and about how everyone burns Guy Fawkes on a bonfire every year and have done so for the last 400 years!

"You failed your exam!"

During break time, one of our Yemeni teachers, Fatima, having heard about April Fool's Day, decided to play a joke on one of our classmates, Nicola, who was at home today. She phoned her and told her that she had failed her oral exam from the previous day.

"What will happen now?", asked Nicola. She then overheard giggling in the background and realised it was a joke.

"Where is the real exam?"

In the next lesson, we decided to play a trick on Fatima by changing all the clocks and our watches to one hour before and sitting in our previous lesson's classroom to make her think she'd got the time wrong, but she was not fooled. She just walked in and gave us our exam. She had made us an eight page doubled sided exam which is twice the normal length and a couple of the other students began to look through it in horror. I put my hand up and asked, "Fein al ikhtibar al haqeeqa", (Where is the real exam?). Fatima had indeed produced a double length exam just because it was April Fool's Day, in addition to the real exam.

The exam was not too difficult and I could have done better if I had not been so adventurous with some of my sentences but I think that it's best to test yourself to your limits in an exam rather than to keep it simple to get full marks.

Car search continues

After lunch, Kate went to visit the neighbours with Kira, while I went out with a Yemeni friend to look at second hand cars. I have been going out a lot recently, a couple of times with a South African friend, Scott, who is a very good mechanic. With the budget we have, we are looking at getting a Toyota Prado which is about 6 or 7 years old, but most of the second hand cars have been mistreated badly over the years and aren't worth considering.

"They must realise that it's April Fool's Day"

We returned to a dealer where we had seen a Prado before which Scott had said was mechanically very sound, but it had two problems- the air-conditioning made a terrible noise and there we lots of bits of white plastic on the bonnet which were the leftovers of the plastic sticky stuff which is put on the car when it is made at the factory. Yemenis like to keep this plastic on the car for a long time so that everyone thinks the car is still new but then the sun bakes the plastic and makes it very difficult to remove, which looks ugly and could devalue the car later. We found today that they had fixed the aircon problem and told me that if I gave a deposit and committed to buying it, they would clean all the white plastic off. "They must realise that it's April Fool's Day", I thought to myself, and told them that I would not make a decision on the car until after they had done their best to remove the white plastic.

Special prices for foreigners

We then went to another dealer which had phoned my friend saying that they had a Prado for sale. When they saw that I was a foreigner, they started telling me that the price was $3000 more than they had told my friend on the phone. Maybe they knew it was April Fool's Day too. I will resume the car search tomorrow, when it's not April Fool's Day!

Driving from Sanaa to Taiz

Having picked up Kate's parents in Sanaa and visited a few of the sites there, we started the six hour journey back to Taiz. The journey is only 150 miles but there are a lot of mountains on the way with steep, windy roads and slow, difficult-to-overtake trucks. Apparently a Beegot (Peugeot Taxi) can do the journey in 3 hours but they are very crazy drivers. In a recent Arabic lesson we learnt the phrase for "The road of death" and agreed that catching a Beegot to Sanaa falls into this category.

As we left, we were just thinking that it was surprising that we hadn't seen any accidents despite all the crazy road activity we had witnessed in Sanaa including driving the wrong way down dual carriageways, sudden U-turns in front of us and pedestrians standing in the road oblivious of impending danger. Driving in Yemen requires a lot of concentration and prayer.

What happens after the accident can be more dangerous than the accident itself

Just as we were leaving Sanaa, Kate's mum noted that the roads were much clearer and easier to drive along at 8.00 in the morning. No sooner had she made this comment when we drove by the aftermath of 2 crashes within a few hundred metres of each other. There were many onlookers and police just standing in the road watching what was going on. In Yemen the person to blame for an accident is usually related to which driver is the most well-connected person, or which driver gives the biggest bribe to the policeman. It rarely has anything to do with what actually happened. An English friend of ours recently had a car accident which left a pedestrian with minor injuries. The police impounded his car until that man had been treated in hospital and our friend had paid for it. They would have put him in jail if an influential local friend of his had not signed a letter guaranteeing that the hospital costs would be paid.

As we drove past the second accident Paul glanced briefly at what was happening and then had to swerve to avoid an oblivious pedestrian crossing the road.

No roadworks signs

Another hazard on the roads of Yemen is roadworks, which appear suddenly without any warning signs and sometimes even send you onto the opposite carriageway without warning drivers coming in the other direction. This happened to us on the way into Sanaa the previous week and we had to move over to avoid hitting oncoming vehicles which were driving down our carriageway. Kate instructed Paul to do likewise on the return journey, thinking that it was the only way to get from the roadworks onto the road to Taiz. It turned out that there was a side road we could have taken to avoid this, but how could we have known this without any diversion signs to tell us.

Roast and Bakery Tourism

About halfway through the journey we had a break at a restaurant, which is one of the few places on the route with decent toilets. Opposite the restaurant was another restaurant called the "Al Khaleeg Restaurant Roast and Bakery Tourism" (see attached photo) and wondered what is involved in "Roast and Bakery Tourism".

You never know what is coming around the corner

As we continued through the mountains Paul had to concentrate hard to avoid hitting vehicles overtaking on blind corners or where there was no gap to overtake in. He pondered that driving in Yemen is like life because you never know what is coming around the corner.

Kate's Mum & Dad enjoyed all the spectacular views through the mountains of Yemen despite the slightly murky day. About three quarters of the way through the journey, we stopped for lunch with a family who are friends of ours and then we continued and arrived in Taiz at about 4 pm. Driving in Yemen can be a bit hazardous but thankfully we have a legion of angels surrounding us.

10 rules for safe driving in Yemen

1. Never assume you have the right of way
2. Never assume that anyone has seen you
3. Never assume that traffic only goes in one direction in your lane
4. Never assume that other drivers will obey the traffic lights
5. Always beep while overtaking or passing pedestrians
6. Always look in all directions for cars passing on either side and for pedestrians or animals running into the road
7. Always flash your lights at oncoming vehicles overtaking to let them know that they ought to pull in before they hit you.
8. Always be prepared to perform any manoeuvre necessary to negotiate roadworks
9. Always pray at the start of a long journey
10. Always make sure you are accompanied by several guardian angels.

Mountain Wedding

For the first time since we arrived here, we were invited to a wedding. It was the wedding of the sister of Ahmed (not his real name) who, along with his wife Alia (not her real name), are friends of ours here. It was to be held in a village near the top of the big mountain behind us at an altitude of about 9500 ft.

Picking up the bride?

We were scheduled to pick up Ahmed & Alia at about 12pm but they asked us if we’d come at 1pm so that we could pick up Ahmed’s sister after she had had her hair done. We drove to another place in town to wait for her but she was not ready because she also wanted to go to the photographer. Ahmed decided to leave her behind and make our way up the mountain so that we would not be waiting too long for our lunch.

4WD’s only past this point

After about 40 mins of the tarmac mountain road we turned off onto a rocky road which was very slow and narrow. If anything was to come the other way, you would have to reverse a long way. After about 15 mins on this road we arrived at Ahmed’s family home.

Weddings here are conducted almost entirely in a segregated fashion, so we must write separate accounts from this point forward…..

Paul with the men

Ahmed’s father greeted us very warmly and then took me off to the men’s room. It was a typically huge family and I was very confused about who was who when introduced to millions of brothers, cousins & nephews. Soon after arriving I ate lunch together with Ahmed’s father and all the brothers. The food was all on the floor and we sat in a big circle. They kept complaining that I wasn’t eating fast enough and put food aside for me so that I would have enough to eat after they had devoured it all at 100 mph! I guess you have to learn to eat fast when there are so many brothers sharing from the same food.

Afterwards, the men’s part of the wedding consisted mainly of sitting and talking (or attempting to talk in Arabic in my case) but I did enjoy being shown around the father’s land and the views were amazing. This time of year is the most popular for weddings and we could see and hear about 6 weddings going on in the valley.

The only part of the wedding ceremony that I saw was the part where the wedding party marched from the bride’s house to the groom’s house. This involves lots of playing drums and throwing dangerous firecrackers around and sometimes (though thankfully not this time) lots of gunfire. We watched them leaving but did not join them on account of the difficulty of navigating steep mountain paths while holding a baby.

Kate with the women

I was taken into the house and was greeted by lots of different female relations, which involved lots of cheek or hand kissing. Then lunch was served on the floor in the middle of the hallway and about 14 of us crammed round and tucked into rice, meat (not sure if it was goat or sheep!) and bread. Halfway through the meal, the bride arrived to lots of ululating from the women, and she dashed into the back room to put her wedding dress on. She emerged looking lovely in a sparkly white wedding dress with tiara and veil just like in UK, but she had lots of henna along her bare arms. She sat in the front room on a big chair covered in a rug and all the female relations and neighbours came to greet her - there were over 30 of us in a little room! Lots of photos were taken of the bride and family, whilst loud music played from a stereo. Kira was a bit overwhelmed with all the noise and people, especially when strange women tried to take her off me! It did not seem very long until the drummers could be heard signalling that they were ready to take the bride to the groom’s house. So the bride quickly got changed again into her normal clothes and face covering so that she could walk down the mountain. One of the women was assigned the task of bringing the white wedding dress in a big bag. Once most people had left, the house seemed very peaceful and those of us with young children and the old women sat around chatting. Then more food was brought along with small glasses of hot sweet tea.

Leaving at dusk

After they all went down the mountain towards the groom’s house, we stayed around for a while to stay goodbye and then managed to get going before dark so that we would be able to see where the edge of the road was on the rocky section. It was great to meet the family, who were so warm and hospitable and we would love to go up there and visit them again sometime.

Getting driving licences

Skiving from School

Today we had a bit of a lie in since we’re going to get driving licences- the traffic police don’t do anything till 9 and Paul’s language school usually starts at 8.30. We had to do it on a school day because they’re only open in the mornings on weekdays. Our friend, Hassan, is helping us to sort it all out. He assured us that it should only take about half an hour to sort out since he’s friends with the chief of traffic police. We’ve been warned by others that they often demand bribes and every foreigner who goes to get a licence has a different story to tell afterwards. One lady was even asked to take a driving test in a car with a door that wouldn’t stay closed unless she held it with her right hand.

The big boss

We picked up Hassan on the way to the traffic police and arrived at the traffic police HQ which is on the edge of the city. We were armed with all our documents and paperwork that might be asked for including passports, licence and a letter from the language school stating that Paul is a student there and that our residence visas are through them. We had no clue where we needed to go or how to ask but, thankfully, Hassan did. He took us up to the office of the big boss who is his friend and he took a look at the letter from Paul’s language school. On the top, he wrote a message which said something like ‘don’t ask these people to pay you any bribes, signed, the big boss’. Afterwards we found out that we needed to go over to the other side of the city to the driving school /licence center to sort out the licences. Hassan assured me that I should still make it to school for my second lesson.

Eye test

We arrived at the licence centre and, after seeing the note from the big boss, they took us straight to the office manager who sat us in his comfiest chairs while various people filled in forms for us and photocopied them millions of times. We both had to have 8 photos taken and we thought it would get sorted really quickly, but then we got sent back into the city centre to have eye tests at the hospital. The eye test was to stand on the opposite side of the room and read from a sheet which had E shapes pointing up, down, left and right. The trouble was, we didn’t know what we were supposed to say when they pointed at different characters and they didn’t understand what we meant by “Ε, W, 3, Μ”, but the fact that we were saying something in response led them to the conclusion that our eyesight must be good enough.

No camels allowed

We went back over to the licence center and assumed that the rest would be a quick formality but there we still lots more forms to be filled in and photocopied. We were supposed to have a lesson & a test about Yemeni road signs which are mostly the same as English ones and also mostly ignored. The man who’s job it was to teach us said, “You English people know the signs better than we do, so I won’t bother teaching you.” He tested us on a few but then told another of the many officials involved to make us the necessary certificate to say that we’d passed. Apparently the camel sign is not “Watch out for camels”, but “No camels allowed on this road”. There is also a sign which means, “no stopping here on wedding days”, and signs for “no stopping on odd days” and “no stopping on even days”.

Maybe they need some computers

After yet more forms & photos, it seemed that we were almost done since the licence itself was being filled in and stamped by multiple officials. The last guy to sign and stamp the licence asked for a bribe but Hassan would have none of it and went to get the manager to come and tell him off. Getting the last bits of paper filled in and photocopied before the 1.00 closing time was a bit of a rush but we managed it in the end. By the time it was done, we’d visited about 20 offices, filled in/ photocopied about 30 different sheets and had 9 photos taken each. People who don’t have a friend who’s a friend of the big boss must take days to organise it all and pay lots of extra money. If they devoted more effort to training drivers and less to paperwork, maybe it would be a bit less crazy on the roads round here.

First day of Ramadan

Today is the start of Ramadan – we know this because last night the mosque sermon went on for ages and the imam was shouting, "RAMADAN, RAMADAN, RAMADAN!" Also, it was completely quiet until about 10 am instead of the usual symphony of car horns and motorbikes.

We took the opportunity to catch some extra sleep as well since Paul was ill yesterday with bad diarrhoea. After lunch we did some Arabic study & Paul caught up on what he had missed at language school yesterday, which included learning vocab for the fruit & veg market and the fish market. We thought it would be good to practice these phrases at the market and restaurant, but we thought it best to leave it until sundown when muslims are allowed to eat & drink during Ramadan and the restaurants open.

While we were driving to the market, the mosque prayer call started, which signifies that people can start eating and drinking. Suddenly everyone was driving crazily, trying to get to somewhere they could eat. The traffic police had a supply of dates they were handing out to drivers who couldn't last until they got home.

We got to the fruit & veg market and found the deaf boy who helps carry our fruit & veg in his wheelbarrow. Paul managed to practice his phrases like, "Excuse me, I would like half a kilo of bananas" We then went to the Arabian Nights restaurant and Paul tried out his new phrase, "What kind of fish is this?" to which the waiter replied, "roast". Perhaps Paul needs to learn the word for species. It was a delicious meal, which cost £4 for both of us because this is a high quality restaurant! Usually it is cheaper.

We then went to the grocery store and bought a few provisions but, about halfway round the shop, Kira, who had been grumbling a bit during the evening, had explosive diarrhoea which splurted out of her nappy, all down Paul's leg, onto his sandaled foot and all over the shop floor. "Help, Kate!", he shouted down the shop aisle. Kate took her out to change her in the car while the shop assistant mopped the floor and mopped Paul's foot.

On the way home, Kira puked all over Kate and all over the car we are borrowing from a friend here. We abandoned plans to visit another shop and went straight home to clean up the car and Kira again. Paul felt queasy as well, but that was just because of the smell that Kira had produced which was probably caused by giardia –a parasite which spreads very easily between people and we have both had it the last few days. Thank God that Kate is a doctor and is used to handling gross things such as this.

After that had been done, Paul went out to the local shop to refill our water bottles with "dubba" water- filtered water which is meant to be safer to drink than the tap water, though Paul is having doubts about that after this last week. By the time Paul had completed this job and Kira had gone to bed (after another bout of diarrhoea) and we had prayed for her, Hassan phoned at 11pm asking if we would like to come out and look at some houses which might be good for us to rent. (he is an estate agent) Local people do not sleep at night during Ramadan, but we do, so we put him off until the following day.