Ethan's pirate party

Three years ago, we told ourselves ‘Never again!’ after lots of Isaiah’s school friends came to our house for a birthday party. They were so crazy that we gave up trying to give them any instructions for the party games because none of them possessed the ability to sit and listen.

Why don't we listen to ourselves?

We seemed to have forgotten our own advice as we invited seven of Ethan’s Jordanian school friends to our house for his birthday party. Ethan requested a pirate theme for his party, so as the children arrived we got them to make pirate hats and eyepatches. Then we did ‘pin the eye patch on the pirate’.

Other games included pop-up pirate, pass the parcel and freeze dance. We were giving sweets as prizes, which probably contributed towards them getting more and more loud and crazy as the party went on. One of them kept bursting into tears if he didn’t win every game, even if the game hadn’t finished yet! By the time we got to the obstacle course, none of them would stop and listen to the instructions, so we had to use our own kids to demonstrate what to do.

Crowd control

Kate made an amazing pirate ship cake which, along with other sweet party food and drinks, made the kids even more crazy. In the end, we resorted to crowd control as they were chasing each other around our house and we were grateful that we got to the end without anyone getting injured or breaking anything in the house!

If we do this again, we must remember to only feed them savoury food!

A Baby Party

When I arrived at my friend's house there were lots of balloons and decorations in the guest room in preparation for the baby party. A few women were already there but after about 15 minutes they turned the music up very loud and opened the windows to signal to neighbours nearby that the party was about to start and to hurry up and come! It was a good strategy to let people know that it was time for the party as soon more women and children started arriving.

The party was for my friend's 5th child, a boy, who was born 2 weeks earlier. Traditionally they hold a party on the 8th day after birth but my friend was waiting for relatives to arrive from a neighbouring country before having the party. As each woman entered the house, she gave a gift or tucked money into the baby's blanket.

They had actually had a baby party 2 days earlier for relatives and I was invited to that party, but it was on the same day as Ethan's birthday party at our house. So I had apologised that I couldn't attend because I'd already invited Ethan's friends to come to his party. In typical Jordanian last minute style, my friend asked if I could rearrange Ethan's party so that I could go to her baby party! Although I couldn't change my plans at the last minute, it was an indication of how much she wanted me to be there. She even suggested that she might be able to make her baby party later so that I could attend. However since I didn't hear any news back about this I presumed that the timing hadn't changed. Often here people don't want to tell you if they can't do something, they feel that it is more polite not to tell you anything rather than say "no" or give unfavourable news!

At the baby party for the neighbours, we chatted and danced. Coffee and dates were offered round and then there was more dancing. A traditional cinnamon drink with desiccated coconut and walnuts was given to everyone since they believe this helps contract the womb after a woman has given birth.

Then there was an Egyptian tradition which I'd never seen before! They put a basket in the middle of a table and lit a dozen candles. Those holding candles walked around the table singing (they made sure that I had a candle and joined in!) with the mum holding the baby joining in too and a woman tapping a metal cup to beat a rhythm. Then they put the baby in the basket and rocked the baby side to side. Amazingly he slept through the whole procedure! I asked about the meaning behind this tradition but the only explanation was that it was from Egypt and that it was meant to protect the baby. The basket reminded me of the Prophet Moses who was saved because his mother hid him in a basket, and a I wondered if there was any connection to that story.

 

After more dancing (these women love to dance!) they handed round little gifts of chocolates, perfume and small toiletries. This was followed by more coffee and dates which was the signal that guests could start to leave. Although I needed to collect the children from school, I didn't want to be the first one to leave. So after a few women left, I also said good bye even though the party still seemed in full swing!

Empowering the village

After dropping Kate and Jenson at the house of Kate’s friend, nearby, I reached the school at 9am. I expected to be the first to arrive but was amazed to find everyone waiting for me – a sign of their eagerness to learn English, but also an indication of the difficulty of communicating a plan in this part of the world. 

Qastal village

Qastal village has a population of about 3000 and the people there are very poor. It is famous for having one of the world's oldest minarets, built in about 720AD. We have had some involvement in this village before, with playgroup and English lessons, but it came to an end a couple of years ago after the village library, which we were using, closed down.

Two weeks before, Kate had met the headmistress, who was asking her if I could come and teach English to the children in this small village school. I suggested that, in order to help the village better, I could teach some adults how to teach English to the children. Kate’s friend’s daughter offered to find some volunteers.

My plan was to teach the volunteers a simple English lesson and they could teach exactly the same thing to the children immediately afterwards. The teachers of the school also wanted help with their English conversation skills, so I offered to teach them for an hour, after teaching the volunteers, while the volunteers taught the children.

16 volunteers and 146 children

When I arrived, I was surprised to find all the children waiting for their lesson at 9am, when I had told them to come at 10am. 146 children were waiting but there were also 16 volunteers, which was also more than I expected. Some of the volunteers had no English ability themselves, so I taught them a very basic lesson that they would easily be able to teach to the children, most of whom were also absolute beginners. There were not enough classrooms in the school for each volunteer to have their own class, so they decided to teach them in pairs.

10 teachers and 3 mothers

I then started a lesson with ten of the teachers and three random mothers who decided to join in. They enjoyed the conversation class and then, when I had finished, I went over to see the end of the volunteers' classes with the children, who all seemed to be doing really well and the children were very well behaved.

Breakfast with the family

After the class, I went to join Kate at her friend’s house and I met her friend’s husband for the first time. We ate a nice breakfast meal with them and heard a confusing story about his friend’s legal problems in Saudi Arabia, which they wanted my help with. I have no idea how to help them, but I promised to look into it (Does anyone know anyone who is an expert in Saudi corporate law?). After eating a delicious Jordanian breakfast with them, we returned home.

Dealing with Scammers

I was waiting again in the tourism company office with my Syrian friend and my children. My friend had filled in a questionnaire with the promise of entry into a free prize draw. She was thrilled when they said she had won and went to the office to collect her prize. However the company tried to sell her a time-share programme in order to collect her prize of 2 free nights at one of their resorts. In the end she paid £100 (which was money she really couldn't afford to spend!) for a third night at the resort to go with the two free nights.

Fake booking

However it soon became apparent that the whole scheme was a scam and she tried to get her money back from the company when there was no booking at the hotel for her and her family.

We had been to the office two days earlier to demand that they return the £100 and the secretary and a co-worker were very rude and in the end told us to make an appointment and return when the manager "Aiman" was in the office for him to return the money.



Where's Aiman?

So we were waiting for Aiman to arrive for the appointment at 1pm. The secretary assured us that he would be there by 2pm although it seemed that Aiman had not actually been contacted about our appointment. Our local Jordanian friend also phoned the office and pressured the secretary to return the money to my friend.

Another Aiman

A number of phone calls and discussion later, the secretary handed me one of her phones saying it was Aiman. I talked with him and he assured me he would be there by 2:05pm. It seemed promising since there was the sound of traffic in the background of the phone call. However by 2:15pm Aiman still hadn't arrived and when I called the phone number that I had for "Aiman" a different person answered the phone, again assuring me he would be there in 10 minutes and that he was just driving past a nearby hospital, however there was no sound of traffic in the background of the phone call.

Is Aiman real?

When I challenged the secretary about the two "Aimans" she got cross with me and finally showed me on her phone the number that I had for Aiman, and yet there was also about a dozen other phone numbers for Aiman!! I think that the manager "Aiman" doesn't exist and is just an excuse to say that they cannot return money unless the manager is in the office.

By 2:30pm the children were bored and fed up and our youngest was running around squealing, so I told the secretary that we would leave and come back at 5pm for the appointment that she had originally arranged for us to meet Aiman. She told us to wait just 5 more minutes. We spoke with our Jordanian friend again and he insisted that the secretary should give us the money and threatened to phone the police if the money wasn't returned.

Key in Bra

Finally at 2:45pm the other co-worker (not Aiman!) arrived and had the £100 in her hand. I was astounded by her tenacity when, at the last minute, she insisted we give her not only the receipt but also the cards for 3 free nights. My friend had never had 3 cards for 3 free nights, only 2 cards for 2 free nights and the £100 was paid for the 3rd night! The co-worker refused to return the money until the 3rd free night card was returned - an impossibility. She also snatched the receipt and 2 cards out of my hand, locked them in a drawer and dropped the key down her bra! At this point I thought that all was lost since we didn't have the cards, receipt or returned money. I quickly phoned our Jordanian friend again and after heated arguments and further phone calls the co-worker gave the secretary the £100 and she finally gave it to my friend. We dashed out the office before they had time to change their minds!
 
Targeting Syrians

Subsequently I've talked with local friends about the incident and it seems that this sort of scam is widespread. With the enticement of a free gift people end up signing contracts for time-shares that they don't really want and then they have to pay a fee to be released from the contract. Or people have to pay an administrative fee to receive their "free" gift which is then worthless anyway. Syrians seem to be targeted currently because if a Jordanian person complains about a Syrian person to the police then the Syrian person will be sent back to Syria. The secretary even threatened my friend with this! So customers are fearful to complain against the company. It is heart-breaking to hear about so many people being taken advantage of.

Returning Travellers

My friend telephoned and merrily greeted me “Al hamdallah, ala as salama” (Praise God for peace/safety) which is the standard greeting when someone returns from travelling. And I replied with the standard reply “Allah yusalamik” (God give you peace/safety). My friend then asked when I had returned to Jordan and why hadn’t I told her earlier that I was back! She had found out from her husband’s brother’s wife that I had visited her the day before for breakfast, and so was berating me for not letting her also know of my safe return.

After suitable apologies and explaining that I had been busy with guests visiting and also saying goodbye to friends who were traveling, my friend was keen to invite me to visit her. It is customary for friends to visit those who have returned from traveling or invite them to visit. In summer it is rather hot in the daytime, so she suggested that I come about 6pm so that we could sit outside in the cooler evening air.

Uninvited guest

Another custom with visiting people here is that it is acceptable (and even expected) that you will bring along a friend or family member with you, often without asking the host. So I also invited my friend Hannah to come with me.

We spent a lovely time sitting outside under the shade of a vine, chatting with my friend and her 3 daughters and being brought various refreshments. The mother caught the eye of her eldest daughter and whispered instructions of when to bring things and clear things away. We drank juice and then we were given plates of fruit, followed by coffee and chocolates. Being served coffee is usually a signal to leave, but they implored us to stay and drink tea and eat cake too. Topics of conversation ranged from the health of family members, studying language, climate change, breakdown in traditional family relationships and the challenges of social media. We also talked about neighbours and the meaning of “neighbour” with the story of the good Samaritan.

Jealousy management

I plan to invite my friend to visit, with women from her extended family, for lunch at my house soon. There does seem to be an element of jealousy if I spend more time with one or other member of the family, so hopefully extending the invitation to all will reduce this, even if it will be a lot of work cooking for everyone!

Lunch in Salt by Kira Miles

At 2pm, Isaiah and I were picked up from school by Mum & Dad, after they picked up Ethan from his school. Then, we drove to Salt (a town near Amman) , which was a long car ride because there was a lot of traffic. We arrived at about 3.15pm at the house of a family which had invited us to come for lunch.

While we were waiting for lunch to be ready, I was reading a book and the adults were talking. One of the adults asked me a question but I was too shy to answer in Arabic, so I just shrugged my shoulders.

Then we ate lunch, which was really yummy - Diwali (rice wrapped in grape leaves), stuffed courgettes and chicken. They were always keeping our plates full and trying to get us to eat more, even though we said that we had had enough.

After lunch we went into the garden and one of the girls (about 12 years old) asked me if I wanted to come with her to explore around the house, so we went walking on the road in the local village. While we were walking, she told me all about the weather in Salt (in Arabic) and then she asked me what the weather was like in England. So I told her that it was cold and rainy most of the year.

Then her twin sister joined us and we chatted about school before going to the shop together to get some ice cream and crisps. When we got back, we played piggy-in-the-middle but they call it 'birdie' because pigs are forbidden in Islam. Lots of different relatives came to say hello while we sat in the garden. One of them did a magic trick which Ethan really enjoyed (see video)

When we were leaving, the 2 twins asked me to come back soon. That day was the most Arabic I've spoken in my life because I'm usually shy to speak Arabic even though I know a lot.

Teaching at the women's military academy

It was the first day of my new course at the Jordan military training school for women. Along with 3 other teachers and one of my managers from the British Council teaching centre, we traveled from Amman to the Army base in a city called Zarqa. It has about 1 million people and is about an hour away.

 Paul's class

Blind leading the blind

We left early so that we would not arrive late on the first day, but after a while we realised that our driver was heading for the wrong location on his phone and we were on the wrong side of the city. After obtaining the correct placemark from our office, we ended up arriving 15 minutes late, but no one seemed too concerned.

When we arrived, our first task was to divide up the students into 4 classes. I had been there the previous month to do English level tests, so we knew which classes to put them into. There are 67 women in the course which will last for the next 2 months.

In our first lesson, the main aim was to get to know one another to check that everyone is in the right level by doing lots of different writing and speaking activities. I found out all about their army training programmes and about how some of them manage to fit it around being mothers of small children.

Chasing a cat with a parrot in its mouth

One of my ice-breaker questions was, 'Tell a funny story from your childhood' and the funniest story was, 'When I was a little girl, we had a pet cat and a pet parrot. One day the cat caught the parrot in its mouth and ran out of the house. We all ran after it and the neighbours were all laughing, watching us chase a cat, carrying a parrot, down the road.'

The lesson was two hours and forty five minutes, which is quite a long time for a lesson, but it passed by quickly and we had a lot of fun.

This course was paid for by the Canadian government, as part of its 'Empowering Women' aid programme. It's a really great opportunity for these women, who don't normally get a chance to receive good quality English language education in Jordan.

Lunch in the village

We set off at 11am and headed north out of Amman for about an hour and a half. We were visiting the family of one of our Jordanian friends, up near the Syrian border. We had been there once before so we did not need to use the map, because Kate (AKA - the human GPS) was telling me the way.

In the middle of nowhere, is a sign to 'CyberCity' which Kate remembered was the place to turn off the main road. Driving past it, it did not look much like a cyber city, but appearances can be deceiving. The road deteriorated significantly, and the last few kilometres were slow going as we negotiated our way around the massive potholes.

Average size family

The family live in a small village and, since our friend's mother had 16 children, almost everyone in the village seems to be a relative of some sort. This is quite a normal size for village families in Jordan and many old people have lost count of how many grandchildren they have.

Upside down lunch

For lunch we had a delicious Jordanian dish of rice, nuts, chicken and various spices, known as Maghlouba. This literally translates as 'upside down' because the food is served onto a massive central plate by turning the pan upside down. It was delicious and Isaiah, in particular, had eyes bigger than his stomach and struggled to move after eating so much.

Unusual foreigners

After lunch, they took us to their uncle's farm, which has sheep and horses. They were in the process of building a new house with stables for the horses on the ground floor and living quarters upstairs. We sat with them on cushions on the roof to chat, drink tea and eat dates. We overheard his cousin saying to the others,

'These are not like normal foreigners. They are like one of us - relaxed and not proud.'

At about 5pm, we said goodbye and headed back home. It seemed a shame to leave so soon because we had such a nice time with them and felt so welcome.

Visiting a Local Hospital

Escape from a warzone

Our Yemeni friend has just arrived in Jordan with her sister who is 36 weeks pregnant. They were so glad to manage to get out of their city, where bombs are frequently falling in random residential areas. One of the first priorities was to find a doctor and hospital for the upcoming birth. Also she had a previous c-section when her son was born and so was planning for a c-section again.

Chaotic hospital

Our friend had a doctor contact at Al Basheer Hospital, which is a large government hospital, and so we turned up as arranged at 8am. We called the doctor but he didn't answer. The maternity unit was crowded and had a confusing system with women lining up in different queues. Since we couldn't contact the doctor, I (Kate) stood in one of the queues to start saving a place in case we needed it.

Skipping the queue

Finally after 20 minutes the doctor answered our calls and came to the maternity unit. He told us that we didn't need to queue and took us through an area that was "guarded" by strict ladies who prevented the general public going into that area. After visiting various offices, our pregnant friend was taken for an ultrasound whilst we waited in a reception area.

A quick scan

Eventually she returned and said that after a quick scan she was told the baby was fine and head was down. It seems that they didn't do a very thorough scan and didn't take any measurements of the baby. After more waiting the doctor gave us a paper and told us to go to the outpatients department to get a stamp then take the paperwork to the Yemeni Embassy and they would authorise free treatment.

Wasta

The only problem was that the doctor left and we needed to go back the way we came through the area with the strict ladies! So I took the lead and told the women guarding the door that we needed to go through. Since I was a foreigner they let me (with my friends) through! Sometimes it can be beneficial to be a foreigner as people treat them with more respect.

We went to the outpatients clinic which was even more crowded than the maternity unit! After pushing our way through to the reception we asked for the correct office for the paperwork. We found our way to the office of the head of the department and again being a foreigner, I took the paperwork and walked straight in and got it stamped! My Yemeni friend said "You're our 'wasta' mediator". Wasta is an important concept here which is when you have people who have connections or the respect of others so that they are able to help you get things done.

We finally left the hospital and went to the Yemeni Embassy only to be told that they couldn't offer any free health-care. My friend was very disappointed but I talked to some of my old work colleagues from the University and they recommended paying for the c-section at a private hospital as it would be better and cheaper than the busy Al Basheer Hospital.

Everything worked out in the end

Thankfully a few days later we had a very different experience at the clinic of one of the University doctors who was very caring and helpful and has arranged to do the c-section on 3rd March at a cheap private hospital.