My friend telephoned
and merrily greeted me “Al hamdallah, ala as salama” (Praise God
for peace/safety) which is the standard greeting when someone returns
from travelling. And I replied with the standard reply “Allah
yusalamik” (God give you peace/safety). My friend then asked when I
had returned to Jordan and why hadn’t I told her earlier that I was
back! She had found out from her husband’s brother’s wife that I
had visited her the day before for breakfast, and so was berating me
for not letting her also know of my safe return.
After suitable
apologies and explaining that I had been busy with guests visiting
and also saying goodbye to friends who were traveling, my friend was
keen to invite me to visit her. It is customary for friends to visit
those who have returned from traveling or invite them to visit. In
summer it is rather hot in the daytime, so she suggested that I come
about 6pm so that we could sit outside in the cooler evening air.
Uninvited guest
Another custom with
visiting people here is that it is acceptable (and even expected)
that you will bring along a friend or family member with you, often
without asking the host. So I also invited my friend Hannah to come
with me.
We spent a lovely
time sitting outside under the shade of a vine, chatting with my
friend and her 3 daughters and being brought various refreshments.
The mother caught the eye of her eldest daughter and whispered
instructions of when to bring things and clear things away. We drank
juice and then we were given plates of fruit, followed by coffee and
chocolates. Being served coffee is usually a signal to leave, but
they implored us to stay and drink tea and eat cake too. Topics of
conversation ranged from the health of family members, studying
language, climate change, breakdown in traditional family
relationships and the challenges of social media. We also talked
about neighbours and the meaning of “neighbour” with the story of
the good Samaritan.
Jealousy
management
I plan to invite my
friend to visit, with women from her extended family, for lunch at my
house soon. There does seem to be an element of jealousy if I spend
more time with one or other member of the family, so hopefully
extending the invitation to all will reduce this, even if it will be
a lot of work cooking for everyone!
