Wedding Car Accident Escalates into Fight

The wedding got off to a bad start when there was a big argument between the bride & groom's respective brothers over the issue of gunfire at the wedding. In Yemen, it is a tradition to celebrate weddings by firing guns into the air, but this is now against the law in the main cities. The groom was a policeman, so he protested strongly about the desire of the bride's brothers to fire guns as they are still accustomed to doing, in their village. 'You can't celebrate properly, unless you fire guns into the air!', they protested.



Crazy cavalcade leads to crash

The air was still not cleared between the two sides, when they embarked on the traditional cavalcade through town, where every male wedding guest, who possesses a car, drives crazily through town, flouting the non-existent highway code and endangering everyone else on the road. Traffic police turn a blind eye, unless large accidents occur. On the way to the wedding hall, the bride's brothers' car bumped into the groom's car. The groom was furious, thinking that the bride's brothers had done this on purpose, in retaliation for his refusal to allow gunfire.


Gunfire disperses fighting wedding guests

The ensuing argument was intense and the groom threatened to refuse to marry the bride. Upon hearing this, one of the bride's sisters began shouting at him and, in the most shameful incident of the day, he responded by hitting her across the legs. This caused uproar and fighting between the two sides. The situation was temporarily resolved when someone fired a gun into the air, which caused everyone to run for cover. This was somewhat ironic, considering that gunfire was the issue which started everything going down the wrong track.

Smile for the camera!

The police came and arrested one of the bride's brothers and the bride and groom continued into the ladies' party, leaving the men outside to continue their argument. Upon entering the hall, the bride was in tears and the groom was still furious, but they managed to put on a smile for the cameras. I was there, videoing the bride and groom, having been requested to do so by the bride's family. I was told to be very careful not to video anyone else at the womens' party, except for the bride and groom, since this video was for the bride's brothers to watch afterwards.

The most tasteful Yemeni wedding I have ever been to

The wedding hall was very impressive. There were big round tables seating 10 people and room for about 500 people! The stage at the front was decorated surprisingly tastefully in gold and white with (fake) flowers and a throne for two. We'd been given a little bag as we came in which had a slice of cake, biscuits and drink so we tucked into these whilst chatting with our friends.

The bride looked beautiful in a traditional white dress with lots of sequins. She had what was considered very minimal make-up for a bride (which would be over the top by our standards!). Unusually for Yemeni weddings, the bride danced by herself in front of her husband and all the guests, then they danced together in front of everyone.

Egyptian wiggling is harder

Soon the music started playing and I was encouraged to dance with our friends. It was lots of fun! I can now dance the traditional Yemeni stepping dance quite easily and the Emirati dance, but I found the hip and shoulder wiggling of the Egyptian dancing a bit tricky!

Situation resolved but the shame remains

The gossip going around the wedding hall was that the bride's family would refuse to allow the groom to take her home after the wedding because of the shameful thing he had done to their family. Somehow it was resolved, possibly through the payment of some kind of 'shame fine' by the groom to the bride's family.

Unfortunately for both the bride's and groom's families, they now have to live with the shame of the incident and the knowledge that all their friends and family know about it, and that the whole community is now talking about it.



Shame-based culture

This whole story is an illustration of the difference between guilt-based cultures (like England) and shame-based cultures (like Yemen). If this incident had happened in England, the main talking point would be the issues of fighting, reckless driving and gunfire, because we immediately start thinking about who was right and who was wrong. The bride's brothers were in the wrong because they wanted to break the law by firing guns and they drove recklessly, causing an accident. In Yemen, the big talking point is the shameful act of a man hitting a woman, and whether or not the marriage could go ahead, in the face of such shame. The shameful thing done by the groom is infinitely more serious than all of the wrong things done by the bride's brothers.