My last day in Yemen

I woke up in a house which was completely empty except for the things I was bringing back with me and a mattress, which one of the neighbours would collect when I was finished with it. Breakfast was a glass of water and a packet of biscuits.

The plants in our garden have become slightly overgrown in the last year

I spent a couple of hours cleaning the house, waiting for car-buyers to arrive. Eventually, some turned up, but were offering me less than half of what I asking for, thinking that I would have no choice but to accept their offer on my last day. Others admitted on the phone that they did not have the money they had offered, but could give me a lot less. It seems to me that all of them were just playing games with me, wanting to get a bargain at the end of my trip, when they knew that I was out of time. I have heard similar stories from other foreigners who came to sort out their things and sell their cars.

I don't want to play this game

I decided at lunchtime that I didn't want to play this game and went to the local car dealer. I didn't tell him that I was leaving and, initially, I didn't tell him that I was selling our car, having parked it out of sight, down the road. Instead, I enquired about the prices of other cars which were similar to our car, working out a target figure to aim for in my negotiations, allowing for the dealer's need to make a profit.

When I brought my car and asked him what he would give me for it, the first figure he gave me was what I had in mind and he wouldn't increase his offer at all despite my best negotiation efforts, so I accepted his offer.

“Do you have the money here?”, I asked him.

“Yes”, he replied.

We shook hands on the deal and he said, “Let's go get the money from my house.”

Gunfire nearby

I thought his house would be nearby, but he proceeded to drive into an area deep in the un-policed part of town, exactly where I did not want to go. On the way back, we got stuck in traffic in a busy market place and there was gunfire very close to our car. I did not see who fired, but the dealer did not flinch as he drove, and bystanders just watched instead of diving for cover, so I assumed someone must just have been firing into the air.

After concluding our transaction, I asked him to give me a lift home, so that I did not have to get a taxi with that much money in my pocket. Shortly after returning to our house, I was picked up by some friends who live near the airport, along with all my bags.

Finishing on a postive note

That afternoon, I visited Fun City with my friends, which used to be Kira & Isaiah's favourite play area and then we went to the fish restaurant on the sea front- which is the best I have ever been to, anywhere in the world! It was nice to finish my trip on a positive note, instead of the gunfire on the garbage-filled streets being the last image of Aden in my mind before I left.

 Paul at Fun City

Christmas Eve

We woke up, excited about Christmas Eve, for two reasons. Kate was going to the police station armed with her residence permit to finally get it stamped into her passport, then later, we were having a  Christmas party for all our friends.

Kate arrived at the police station, which was quite crowded and, after some time managed to speak to the right person about the visa. She was very disappointed to be told that first she must go to the  ministry of interior to get the work permit, despite being told by the  university that the residence permit she had been issued should be enough to get the residence visa stamped into her passport.

This process has been frustrating for Kate, who normally likes to know exactly is going to happen, in what order and what she needs to bring, but no one has been able to tell her these things. The communication & organisation at the university is not very good and Kate will need to learn to adapt, if she is to avoid pulling all her hair out!

Kate came back and we began preparations for the party. Kate's mum had made lots of mince pies, with homemade mincemeat, since it is not available here. We also had mulled fruit juice, not wine, since some of the party guests would be Muslims. Kate made some amazing penguins with olives, cream cheese and carrots, which a friend of ours had spotted on a Facebook page. Isaiah went around telling everyone, "These penguins are from Facebook.", even though he has no idea what Facebook is.

We had invited about 30 people to the party but, sadly, some of our friends were unable to come. In the end, about 20 people came, which was about the right amount for the size of our lounge.

We had a lot of fun playing "pin the nose on the snowman", "guess how many sweets are in the kettle", "guess what's in the socks" and of  course, the chocolate game. All of these games were new to our Jordanian friends.

It was a great opportunity for us to strengthen our friendships, and also, some of our friends met each other for the first time.

Ladies swimming morning

After 2 "service" rides (set-route taxis) and walking through a few back streets we arrived at our destination - "The World of Exercise"! I had come with my neighbour to the swimming baths that she has frequented for the past 20 years. Apparently it is one of the oldest swimming baths in Amman. We descended the steps and were greeted by a rather large lady in a rather ill-fitting swimming costume! This was the first of a range of attire I encountered- bikinis, cycling shorts over swimming costumes, cycling shorts under swimming costumes, t-shirts and leggings, and a set that looked like pyjamas plus swimming caps!!

Ladies' sink or swim session

From 9am - 1pm was for ladies only, girls were also allowed but not boys. After changing we headed for the main pool which was about 25 m long. My neighbour was very proud that she could swim, although my breaststroke was faster than her attempted front crawl! But she was much better than the other ladies we saw splashing around. There was a Ukrainian lady giving a swimming lesson to 5 of the ladies.

Luxurious but scruffy at the same time

Everyone was very friendly and we chatted to all the other ladies there, either in the very hot jacuzzi, lovely warm power shower pool, sauna or steam room. It sounds like a luxurious place but it needed a bit of touching up to the paint work and I was a little horrified to see 2 big dead cockroaches in the power shower pool!!

Holy Massage

The large lady in the ill-fitting swimming costume was the masseur and I had a very relaxing back massage for only 5 pounds! It was the first time I've ever had a massage begin with the lady saying "In the name of God, the most gracious, the most merciful"!

By 1pm we quickly changed and were shooed out before the men arrived for their time slot.

Tact vs Principles

In the afternoon, after visiting a local friend with the children, a doctor telephoned me. She works at the university and was going to send my CV to any relevant people at the university. She explained that she needed to have a telephone interview for a university fellowship in 2 weeks and bluntly asked if I could do the interview for her! I was amazed at her request and tried to answer tactfully "no". In this culture, people expect you to help them in anyway that you can, especially if they are helping you. Therefore to say "no" can be very rude. So I explained that I could help her with her English before the interview but couldn't pretend to be her!

A day in Jordan, compared with Yemen

More People Speak English in Jordan

"Clap, clap and shout hooray, Kira's here today!" - everyone was made to feel welcome as we sang all the children's names at playgroup. We'd helped to set up all the toys beforehand together with2 other foreign mums and then enjoyed meeting 8 local mums and their children. The children loved playing with the different things, singing songs, making coloured pasta necklaces for craft and had a snack time, whilst the mums relaxed a bit with a cup of tea and lemon drizzle cake that I'd made! It was good to talk with the Jordanian mums, mostly in English as they like an opportunity to practise.

Kira and Isaiah at playgroup

Working Mums

Playgroups are a new concept in Jordan, with few groups, but in Yemen they are non-existent. This one was on Saturday morning which is the 2nd day of the weekend here and interestingly most of the mums were middle class and working during the week. They valued the opportunity to spend time with their children in a fun, creative and safe environment. In contrast, most Yemeni women stay at home to look after the (many) children, clean the house and spend about 3 hours cooking lunch.

Driving Standards are Better than Yemen, but that's not saying much!

We jumped into a taxi home which was driven by a slightly crazy taxi driver. When we came to Jordan back in 2003 we thought the driving was very crazy compared to UK but, this time round, we think it's quite good compared to Yemen. We've been amazed to see people giving way at roundabouts and using their indicators.




Timekeeping is just as bad in Jordan as in Yemen

We waited and waited and wondered what to do! We'd invited our neighbour for dinner at 6pm but at 6:20pm she texted to say that she was sorry she was late and would be with us in 20 minutes. By 7pm the children were getting hungry so I telephoned her and she said she was 10 minutes away. She thought we would have started eating without her, rather than waiting! Finally over an hour and 15 minutes late, she arrived for dinner!

People have pets in Jordan

It was a wonderful time with our neighbour and worth the wait. The children were able to pop next door and stroke the neighbour's cat. It isn't so strange to have pets in Jordan and there's quite a few pet shops, near our house, selling birds and fish. In Yemen, cats and dogs are considered too dirty to allow in the house.

Health and Safety is Just as Bad as Yemen

Paul left dinner early to go out to watch the Champions League final with friends at one of the hotels. Just as in Yemen, everyone in Jordan seems to support Barcelona, so were very pleased with the result. The standard of technical competence amongst the hotel staff and the level of health and safety standards were all too familiar to Paul in comparison to Yemen. One of the projectors was not getting the TV signal, so they turned the screen round to enable all the spectators to see the other one. There was quite a high wind, which threatened to blow the screen over and knock the projector into the swimming pool. The spectators sat on the other side of the pool - perilously close to it. We hoped that no-one would leap up to celebrate too enthusiastically and fall into the pool, and that this would not happen at the same time as the projector falling in. Thankfully, the match finished with no electrocutions and everyone except the few Man Utd supporters went home happy.

Building a team

Most Thursdays, I speak to our teachers at the Canadian Institutes teacher training mornings. On this Thursday, I had been asked to speak about teamwork & conflict. This had been prompted by a few arguments between the manager and the staff during the week, which had gotten quite heated. Heated arguments are quite a common occurrence amongst people in this culture.




One of the arguments had led us to think of some ways to improve our English courses, even though we disagreed with the suggestions being brought by the teacher.

Conflict is an opportunity

I told them that conflict is not necessarily a bad thing- a team which has no conflict is a team which has no ideas. If we see conflict as an opportunity to hear new ideas from others, then we will listen respectfully to what they are saying and stay calm. A team makes better decisions than an individual because more than one person's ideas are being considered.

Reconciliation

The staff and the manager then started discussing some of the issues which they had been arguing about during the week. I was impressed with how they managed to stay calm and friendly this time around.

These teacher training sessions are a great opportunity to impart new values which are not normally part of the culture here. In the future, we plan to offer the same training sessions to teachers of other colleges around Aden.

No, it's not our new car. It's a picture I doctored to advertise our new course- English for taxi drivers.

At a Workshop

I was rather surprised when I turned up at 8am to see one of the participants sitting outside the training room waiting. Yemenis are not the most punctual of people and rarely arrive early! As I set up the laptop to show presentations, other participants began to arrive, so that by 8:30am about 80% of the teachers and participants were present.

Time keeping is not a strength!

Practice what you teach

The teaching style here is usually didactic with the lecturer giving a lecture and the students writing notes, however the aim of the workshop was training other members of the Medical School staff in Communication Skills. Therefore we were using a learner-centred approach with role-plays, small group work, video clips and mini lectures.

The usual teaching style

Your mother's dead

Clutching a mobile, I hurried past an anxious relative and briskly told them that their mother had died! Thankfully this was a role play of the way not to share bad news! All the participants laughed and contributed ideas for how to share bad news properly, but unfortunately the role play was very close to the truth of how bad news is given in the hospitals here. Participants then practised these new skills themselves in role plays and it was encouraging to see how quickly they grasped new ideas and began to use them to change their attitudes and behaviours.

Practising new skills

Relational skills are much more prevalent than organisational skills in the culture here, which is why the certificates for completing the workshop had yet to be printed, an hour before the workshop was due to finish! The secretary was at the wedding of a relative, and no-one else knew where the card for the certificates was kept. So someone was sent to buy card and quickly the replacement secretary was busy typing names for the certificates. Meanwhile the doctor organising the workshop was whispering to me to keep the teaching session going whilst the administrative details were being sorted out!

People love collections of certificates!

More than just a certificate

Great importance is placed on gathering certificates from different courses and so the participants were pleased to receive a signed and stamped certificate for their attendance and participation in the 3 day workshop. However, of more importance, was that they had learnt new skills in communicating with patients and were beginning to put these into practice.

Teacher Training Day

I sat at the table at breakfast time, practising what I was going to say at the teacher training meeting. Most of it was fine, but there were a few words I was unsure of and I was looking them up in the Arabic dictionary. My talk was entitled, “Vision and Values”, but I was still unsure what Arabic words to use for “Vision” and “Values” until I got there and asked someone.

Making up my own job title and contract

After breakfast, I headed off to Canadian Institutes, where I am now the Strategic Development Manager - a job title I recently gave myself when Adel, the college owner said to me, “What job title would you like?”. He also allowed me to write my own job contract document, in which I wrote, “The employee is allowed to take unlimited amounts of unpaid holiday.”




It seemed a bit strange to be giving a talk, telling them what their Vision & Values are, when I’ve only been working with them since just before the summer, but Adel was keen for me to communicate all the things we’ve been discussing recently, to the teaching staff.

Responsibility

I started by telling them about our Responsibility to help our students to succeed in life, in whatever way we can. We are starting a new Job Centre - much like the English one - which will let people know about job vacancies and help them to prepare for interviews, but will not be paying benefits to anyone. Also, we have a new project called Kickstart, which aims to help people to start a small business.

Integrity

The next value was Integrity. We always keep our promises, no matter the cost. We never give certificates to anyone who does not pass the test, no matter who they are or what they offer to pay. I asked them how often someone tries to pay them to give a certificate without passing the relevant exam. “About once a day”, was the reply.

I told them about our plan to combat corruption through our new Key Worker Training Program and our plan to combat software piracy through the Open Source Software Project.

I finished with our Vision, which is “To change people’s lives through training which has a specific goal and a plan for how to achieve it”

I want to cooking pan your teaching

I told them that one of my new responsibilities is to come and observe their teaching to try and see how I could give them ideas and help them to improve their teaching. They all laughed, because instead of saying “hassan” (improve) I said “sahhan” which means Cooking Pan.

My talk sparked a lot of animated discussion, most of which I did not understand, but they seemed to be excited about what I had said. I concluded by telling them that these ideas could do much more than just change a few lives - they could change the nation. “It’s a small seed which can grow into a big tree, but we have to start here in this room.”